Just Get On With It

I just finished Andre Agassi's autobiography, Open.  It was a good read.  I enjoyed it, partly, because I've always enjoyed following Agassi's career-- from his young and rebellious "Image is Everything" rise, to his more seasoned and serious later career as the #1 ranked tennis player in the world.

What was startling to me while reading the book, though, is how different his internal life was/is from what we perceived from the crowd. To begin, while he was amazingly gifted at the sport, it turns out that he hated tennis. And second, it appears from his writing the he was pretty miserable during much of his career.  (And almost as if it was incidental/by the way, "hey look, I just won Wimbledon.")  Here's a guy who worked incredibly hard, had outstanding success, and still didn't seem to find it all the special.

As he grew, though, he had a couple of "This-is-what-it's-all-about-moments" when he was able to pour himself into caring for someone else. (Or something like that. We had to return the book to the library so I can't look it up.)  It's a little cliche, I guess, but it hits home and it sobers me.  Right now there's work I can do and can use to be of service, if for nothing else than to support my family and help raise my kids.  I don't want to give up seeking what what I'm called to do. But I do want to spend more time simply seeking to be of service-- to God, to my family, to others-- and less time introspectively feeling sorry for myself in the process.

Running

In the middle of yet another busy day at work yesterday, I remembered again this quote from Lucille Clifton (horribly out of context, but fitting):

"Pray that what we want is worth this running. Pray that what we're running toward is what we want."

It was and is a reminder not to equate work with vocation or success at work with success.